im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
