And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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