her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
