Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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