oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
