guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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