Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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