The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
