I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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