If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
