They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
