she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
