i would punch a child for taco bell
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
