So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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