You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize