He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
