whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
