wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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