i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
