Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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