I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
