Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
