should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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