so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
