Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize