It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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