Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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