I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you win again, gameday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
