... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize