I don't think brook has ever known best
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
