The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
