Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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  (214): I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band http://tfl.nu/l50n
  Replies (11) Good night (600) Bad night (1388)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

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  (603): i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol http://tfl.nu/nbdg
  Replies (28) Good night (5916) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  how do we leave politely?

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.

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  (316): how do we leave politely? (1-316): Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke. http://tfl.nu/9vnx
  Replies (13) Good night (3998) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

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  (541): at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww http://tfl.nu/qfxi
  Replies (108) Good night (1305) Bad night (32549)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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  (504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab
  Replies (45) Good night (899) Bad night (7157)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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  (703): So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win http://tfl.nu/8bud
  Replies (17) Good night (5183) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  What?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.

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  (484): THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH. (610): What? (484): A TROUGH FOR VOMIT. http://tfl.nu/8z8s
  Replies (17) Good night (3622) Bad night (3033)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (3131)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..

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  (706): having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear.. http://tfl.nu/j8z4
  Replies (16) Good night (2220) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (2048)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Where are you?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Jimmy John's.

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  (512): There are so many Jimmy John's employees here (1-512): Where are you? (512): Jimmy John's. http://tfl.nu/2l3c
  Replies (10) Good night (5705) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
  Replies (9) Good night (1970) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom

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  (709): He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom http://tfl.nu/rh7h
  Replies (11) Good night (691) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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  (571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p
  Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am

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  (404): A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am http://tfl.nu/md1x
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (143)

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