Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm like, not good at living.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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