You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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