You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
FUCK WHALES
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
