Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize