omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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