Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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