what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
