Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
