Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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