naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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