im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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