Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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