So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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