who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's on the porch naked. Help.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
