At least make sure they are 18
Why
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
