hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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