Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she peed on how many people?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize