i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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