hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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