It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
