holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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