Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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