Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
