bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
