and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
