I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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