His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
