Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
my liver is dry heaving
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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