my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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