I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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