So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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