is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
