She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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