bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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